Remember a time when you were glued at the hip with your partner; when you missed them after an hour of being away from each other? It might seem like a long time ago, but quality time with your partner is still as important now as it was back then, maybe even more so.
As life starts getting busier, intentionality increases in importance.
Did you know the average couple only has 3 minutes of quality conversation per day?! 🤯
Here’s our advice on how to reclaim time with your partner and some pitfalls to avoid:
1. Schedule time together
Before you schedule any other leisure activities, try to schedule in time for your partner. Carve out a weekly time for dates and stick to it. Your partner is not someone who deserves the leftovers of your time, they deserve the best of you. If weekly is too tricky for you, try every 2 weeks or even once a month if your season of life is too challenging.
2. Laugh together
When we laugh together, we create a close bond that protects us from stress, disagreements, and disappointment. 🤯 Yep. Pretty cool right?
When you intentionally make time for each other, also make space for fun and laughter. Do something you both enjoy or share something funny with your partner to deepen your connection. Try the Dry Bar Comedy app, Conan O’Brien Remotes, or play Throwthrow Burrito (it will NOT disappoint)!
3. Learn how to say no to too many commitments
Sometimes, you have to say no to good things to say yes to better things. Say no graciously to things you simply do not have the time for, so you can make time for your partner. Remember that saying no to these things means you’re saying yes to a healthier relationship.
Here are some of our favorite ways to say NO:
- "Thank you for asking but at this time in my life I don't have the capacity but thanks for thinking of me."
- "This sounds really interesting/fun. I wish that I could be a part of it, but I am already committed. I wish you all the best, and look forward to ..."
- "No, I'm not able to." (You don't always need to offer a reason).
- "I'll have to check and get back to you." (Use this if they need some time to think about it).
- "I planned to have a quiet weekend, I'll say no this time."
- "I don't have the capacity for that right now."
- "I can't help you with this but I'd be happy to support you with finding someone who can."
- "I'm trying to balance my time more at the moment so I need to check my schedule first."
4. Make sure you spend time with each other EVERY DAY
A good rule of thumb is to make sure you communicate with each other at least 10 minutes per day and find a way to be physically close. Going for a walk is a common one that makes a big difference! Physically close can simply be holding hands during your walk, or snuggling during a movie/TV show.
5. Make a list of fun activities to do together
You are literally living with someone who you get to hang out with and have fun with every day. That’s pretty special if you ask me. Get creative and come up with a list of activities you would both love doing together. You may have no interest in some of the activities your partner loves, however, this is a great chance for you to try something you wouldn’t otherwise choose and to step outside of your comfort zone. Loving your partner sometimes means you do things you don’t necessarily enjoy for the sake of their happiness. This shows that you care and you’re willing to be selfless.
Take a few minutes to compile your own list of activities you would each like to do, and each week or month you try something on each other’s list.
If you hate thinking and writing (haha) try The Adventure Challenge for some really unique and fun date ideas!!
1. you can freeze time & come back to it
If you’ve never heard of the law of atrophy, it’s the theory that things deteriorate or decline when left neglected. It applies to the muscles in our bodies, to buildings, and yes, to our relationships.
You cannot simply freeze your relationship as it is and expect it to stay the same. If you don’t work at it, it will deteriorate.
2. TIME CAN BE SAVED
You have 24 hours in a day. If you don’t use them today, you can’t save them up for later. They’re gone forever to half an hour of scrolling through Instagram or those couple hours on Netflix. Those things aren’t bad, but it’s all a question of priority. Are you prioritizing your relationship over social media? Are you spending more time with your partner or with Netflix?
When life gets busy (and does it ever) we think we can freeze time with our partner while we catch up on completing a business venture or wanting to just get through the first year of having a newborn. But guess what? You’ll never get that time back with your partner because life itself doesn’t pause, only your relationship does. You can’t save it and spend it later. Find time for each other NOW in the midst of the craziness. I promise it will make everything better. It will carry over into all other areas of your life. It will only add value to the other areas of your life that you thought you needed to solely focus on.
Trust me, your children/child won't remember that you weren't with them one evening in the month, but your partner will. Take that intentional time to be with each other!